I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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