question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize