I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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