omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
