He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My first STD was from a foam party
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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