Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
