Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
