he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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