what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
