Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
