I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My life is pants optional.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
