i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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