as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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