what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
