it's not cheating when I paid for it
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
