? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
