Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just had sex on a roof
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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