I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
im six kinds of drunk right now
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
