What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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