Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
