There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
