She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
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