Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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