so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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