none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
