it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
