so that wasnt chicken after all
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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