Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I wish i was in the wii world.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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