Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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