Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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