Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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