IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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