How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
