"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
