I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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