it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
