It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
