We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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