Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
