So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
they need to just BURY HIM!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
