i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just had sex on a roof
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
