at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
