I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
