Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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