This is not my ceiling
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
