I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
