dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
