Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
