craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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