I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
