I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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